My Unscheduled Summer Break

Not exactly the ‘break’ I had planned … I was hoping for this … 

24-1-whiteless-pike

Instead …

In a nutshell (no pun intended) I leaned over the front of the sofa to retrieve some almonds I’d dropped, overbalanced and landed heavily on my left arm. A sickening crack reverberated through my body … there was little doubt, I’d broken something.

Bullet points, as everyone likes a bullet point … 

  • Needed to dress.
  • Asked Mr JH for assistance doing up the bra.
  • Thanked him when he’d finally managed this feat but pointed out boobs were supposed to be in the cups.
  • Shouted when he decided the best way to achieve the above was to try to tug the fastened bra down over aforementioned boobs.
  • Drove to hospital hoping we were too early for the inebriated people who had ‘punched a wall’.
  • Queue didn’t quite extend to door but due to an IT problem, everything was taking much longer than usual.
  • Waited with all the other casualties to be triaged; found some nice folk to chat to.
  • Various clinicians appeared to advise unless of dire need, we would all be better served going home and ringing our GP surgery in the morning (Sunday)
  • Wait would be three … or four hours …
  • Same thought occurred to all of us – I hope you all leave because then I’m next!
  • Waited to see who blinked first.
  • I was betting on the suspected broken toe but Mr JH had his money on the bruised leg.
  • Both wrong, the first was the indeterminate ‘not feeling too good’.
  • Wasn’t actually a stampede but certainly a steady trickle followed.
  • Next in queue!
  • X-ray followed triage and ulna spiral fracture was confirmed.
  • Saw lovely registrar who spent a good ten minutes removing rings from the swollen digits of my left hand.
  • Had to resort to lubricant usually reserved for urethral catheters …
  • Off for plastering.IMG-20170709-WA0005
  • Eight sheets of plaster to form a back-slab; very heavy.
  • Could easily knock someone out with a single swing (fantasising about whom I’d choose).
  • Decided to go ahead with family party arranged for following day as had vast quantities of food prepared.
  • Announced confidently to everyone at party it would just be a matter of conservative management; a few weeks in plaster at most.
  • Visit to fracture clinic; contemplating colour of sleeve I would select.
  • Saw X-ray for the first time. Ah … maybe not so straightforward after all.
  • Offered surgery on Friday to reduce fracture and insert plate and screws.
  • Panicked for following two days.
  • Arrived at hospital and had nerve block administered by kind anaesthetist.
  • Suspect I then became a tad confused by the drug administered via cannula to lower my heart rate from blind panic mode.
  • Worried my heart rate was still 99; then realised I was looking at my oxygen sats.
  • Surgeon lifted my arm in theatre; I immediately announced it wasn’t mine.
  • Surgery uneventful.
  • Told to hold my numb arm post-op so I could be wheeled to recovery.
  • Accepted at this point arm was mine as it appeared to be attached at the shoulder.
  • Dropped it; amazing how heavy arms are.
  • Home now for recovery.
  • Told no left-hand keyboard activities for five weeks … five weeks!
  • So here I am, an administrator who can’t administrate and frustrated writer who can only get words from brain to keyboard with one hand.
  • Never mind, no-one ever said being a writer was easy but I assumed the problem would be lack of ideas.
  • Newfound respect for anyone permanently without the use of a limb.
  • Mental note to henceforth empathise with elderly ladies leaving the lavatories with clothing tucked in their knickers.

NB: Mr JH is now available for sling application, hair-styling (combing/ponytails) and nail varnish removal.

IMG_20170718_091840304

 

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About jhbooksblog

Hello - I'm Julie Haiselden, an occasional NHS med sec/practice administrator. Mother of three, wife of one, a chaotic cook and published crime/thriller novelist who blogs a bit about books, life and food. School alumna. Occasional am-dram actress/director. I enjoy walking and photography (although my enthusiasm outweighs my skill set). I've recently joined the reviewing team at Whispering Stories and can be found via the following social media sites: http://whisperingstories.com/meet-the-team/ https://twitter.com/juliehaiselden https://www.facebook.com/juliehaiseldenbooks https://www.goodreads.com/ I also accept a few hard copy novels to review.
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4 Responses to My Unscheduled Summer Break

  1. Terry Tyler says:

    Doesn’t it make you appreciate having 4 working limbs????!!!
    Makes me think about investing in a dictaphone, just in case (for the writing!)

    It’s a slow process, but, having been unable to walk without crutches for 4 months last year, I can confidently say that once it’s all over, you forget all about it. Almost 😉

  2. jhbooksblog says:

    You’re quite right, we all take our limbs for granted until they can’t perform as we would wish. Not sure if I’m still young enough to have ‘fallen over’ or if I’m old enough to have ‘had a fall’.

    Glad you’re fighting fit again; I remember it was certainly a long haul for you last year.

    At least I’m doing a lot of reviewing and wonderful Stacey is providing all the formatting!

  3. H says:

    Ahh we can all have lols after the event!! :-). Great post and splendid slacks in pic no. 2 Mumma xxx

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