Hot on the heels of last week’s Buckingham adventure, I was off again! This time to attend a hen weekend with fourteen thirty-something ladies.
September 2016 – Invitation arrived for hen weekend. Protested that I was rather long in the tooth but being assured that the weekend wouldn’t be complete without me, I accepted.
Friday 17 March 2017 – Daughter and I set off on our road trip north. Weather was set fair. No arguing to speak of, until I tried to be helpful with directions. I have a nice lady in my car who tells me which lane to be in and where to turn off – no such luxury in H’s jalopy.
Told man on the security gate we were on a hen weekend. He asked if either of us were the bride. We shook our heads.
Got to check-in. Told lady we were part of a hen party. She asked if the bride was on board. We shook our heads.
Met up with others in our party for coffee before going to pool. Told bride-to-be we were asked twice if either of us were the bride! She said no one had asked her … awkward …
Managed to find way to pool and was planning to do no more than pose in new tankini but did have a dip and found that I still knew how to do it – will spare you the photograph.
Moved stuff from car to lodge – we had two, with seven hens in one and eight in the other. Cooked chilli con carne. Given my ‘hen pack’ including a t-shirt with my name emblazoned across the back and a fetching little pink tiara.
Played games; wasn’t very good at ‘Guessing Celebrity Couples’ as never recognise famous people. Equally hopeless at ‘Name the Film’. Did quite well with ‘How Well Do You Know the Bride and Groom’ but as I gave birth to the groom, I had an advantage. Embarrassed not to remember the make of his car, so said ‘a grey one’. Didn’t get a point.
Didn’t really enjoy ‘Guess the Owner of the Bottom’ so will move swiftly on …
Saturday 18 March – Woke with a headache. Breakfast in next door’s lodge. Bacon sandwiches. Three hours in aqua sauna. Not sure about some of it but did enjoy the foot spa and the sensory room.
Lunch at the pancake parlour. Salmon and sour cream with spring onions and rocket. Few hens had a nap. I watched the rugby. Hens then got ready to go out for dinner.
Only two not drinking alcohol, me and the pregnant hen. Head pretty grim so walked home after main course leaving hens to celebrate the forthcoming nuptials in style.
Sunday 19 March – Didn’t fancy a huge breakfast, post-headache. Had toast and went for walk. Met up with two other hens and had another swim (getting quite good at it now). Silly man, who was old enough to know better, decided to create a tidal wave with his hands whilst propelling himself along in a large rubber ring. Ended up under the water. Surfaced and dealt with him suitably but on reflection, I really shouldn’t have used the F-word.
Sorted out stuff after lunch and spent rather a long time looking for car. Loaded up and returned home – no problems with directions (I kept quiet) and wonderfully, all hens still speaking to each other.
Feeling rather frail today having eaten far too much food. Back to work tomorrow …
Excuse my pinny (the last time it had this much exposure was when I tried to amputate my left thumb with the spiraliser …)
Next stop the wedding!!